Safety Planning
Safety Plans
If you feel safe doing so, it's a good idea to develop a relationship with a counselor at your local domestic violence agency before you are in a crisis situation.
Your counselor can help you think things through, explore your options, and help you with your safety plan.
Some of the following safety points are useful if you have left the abuser and he is attempting to track you down. If you are still living together, some of the safeguards (such as changing your driving patterns) could increase his suspicion and vigilance.
In General
- Memorize all important phone numbers.
- Decide whom you will inform of your situation. Is there someone you can talk to freely and openly, and who can give you the support you need?
- If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
- If you have a protective order, keep it with you at all times. If it is safe, tell family, friends, and neighbors that you have an order.
- Keep your cell phone on your person.
- Teach your children what they are to do when you or they are in danger. Practice where they are to go, whom to call. Give a copy of your order of protection to their school or daycare provider.
At Home
- Installing a home security system is costly, and your abuser may know how to disable a system. Most security systems notify the local police when there is an intrusion, which may not be the best option in your situation. There are inexpensive items you can purchase to alert you when someone is trying to enter your home or apartment.
- You can install extra locks on your windows and patio doors.
- Outdoor lighting, motion-activated lights, and timers on inside lamps are inexpensive ways to protect yourself.
- Is there a neighbor you can tell about the danger you are in? If so, set up a time and way that you will check in each day. Agree on a plan of what your neighbor will do if s/he sees or hears a disturbance at your house — especially if you don’t want them to call the police.
- Decide on a signal (such as turning on a specific light) that you will try to use if you are in trouble. Agree on what your neighbor will do if s/he sees your signal.
- Identify and practice an escape route from your home and workplace. Know which doors, windows, elevators, stairways or fire escapes can be used to get out quickly. Practice it!
Vehicle Safety
- GPS (such as OnStar®, etc) is now standard equipment in new vehicles and easily installed in older vehicles. GPS can reveal your location. If you are concerned that your abuser is monitoring your travel/location, have your vehicle checked for a GPS.
- Be alert for vehicles following you. Keep a notebook and pen within reach so your can discreetly record the make and license plate number of the vehicle.
- Vary the times you leave for work and come home. Change your routes to work, school and shopping.
- Review your travel route between home and work with those involved in your safety plan.
- Check the front and rear passenger areas before entering your car whether it is day or night.
- Check your car before opening the door or starting the engine. Look under the car for leaking fluids (brake lines, etc.) Test your lights, steering and brakes before driving.
Escaping Your Home
Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser. Remember: leaving can be the most dangerous time.
- Decide where you will go if you must leave your home quickly. This must be somewhere your abuser would not think to look for you.
- If you must drive your own vehicle to get away, remember to hide it as best you can when you arrive at your destination. A vehicle GPS system can reveal your location.
- Turn off your cell phone! Remember that cell phones transmit signals that give your relatively specific location at any given time.
- Do not use a credit or debit card, gas card, ATMs, etc! These all leave electronic footprints.
Additional Information
We have additional specific information regarding Safety in an Electronic World and the Safety Plan for Police Victims. For more information or to discuss your options before taking specific steps, contact Diane Wetendorf.
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