As a friend or relative of a woman whose abuser is a firefighter or police officer, you may also be at risk.
The abuser can use many of the same professional tactics against you that he uses against his intimate partner. He may intimidate you by warning you not to get involved. He may let you know that he has the power to harm or kill her and that you can't stop him.
If you have ever tried to get help for your friend or for yourself, you may have become frustrated because no one seems to understand the complexities of officer-involved domestic violence. The usual sources of community help may have little or no experience working with police victims. Domestic violence counselors may offer you the same options that they give to civilian battered women. Others may be afraid to get involved because of the abuser's influence in the community. Some may be afraid for their own personal safety.
A batterer typically isolates his victim from her family and friends. He tells her that no one will believe her. He warns her that people — including you — will believe his version of the story because he is in law enforcement. He knows that people don't want to believe that a cop or firefighter can be a wife beater. He knows that it's easier for people to believe that she is lying, crazy, or refusing to do anything to help herself.
The abuser may force your friend or family member to reject your help by threatening to hurt you. You might be fearful of getting more involved because you don't want to endanger your family.
The abusive officer has a wide range of official powers and privileges that he can employ to intimidate or threaten you. He has access to confidential information such as your unlisted phone number, credit and financial information. He can use surveillance tools like phone taps, sound-activated audio and video recording devices. There are vehicle tracking devices that he could attach to your vehicle. He knows how to get into your car or house.
The abuser or fellow officers may drive by your street, your workplace, even your children's school or day care. They may harass you, your family or friends with traffic stops, planting evidence and making false arrests. He can get neighbors to watch you and report to him.
He doesn't fear the consequences of you calling the police. Responding officers will be his colleagues and friends. They'll sympathize with him and may try to talk you out of filing a complaint or pressing charges.
The abuser knows enough about the law to convince you that he knows what he's talking about. His version of the law will purposely misrepresent criminal or civil laws and may make you afraid to take any legal steps.
Learning more about police-perpetrated domestic violence may help you get support for both yourself and your friend or family member. There are resources and information available for you and your family. We also have several books available for purchase. And please, don't hesitate to call or write us. We're here to help.
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